Turns out I do need a biopsy....nothing is ever simple and easy for me....nothing ....shuld happen this week some time....need Dr Nimnuts to handle referrals for it which is NEVER an easy task here but I do have an appt with him today at 5 pm so I will HAND him her report marked IMMEDIATLY and hope he handles it today......he's not the brightest bulb in the pack.
More tomorrow.....
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Another day another battle....
Life certainly is never dull..well, MY life anyway! Yesterday I had a GREAT doctor visit.....the office was like a serene bedroom complete with candles and really cool decorations...I immediately flt at ease.......it was my big psyche evaluation with the psychiatrist as part of the transplant evaluation and it went wonderfully! He said I am the perfect candidate for transplant and I passed with flying colors . He told me his report to the center would ge a gleaming one to say the least!
He went on to say I have no mental disorders whatsoever and that I am extremely educated in this process and understand perfectly well the situation I am in....now this is NOT saying Im OK with my situation and he said anyone who says they are would be lying and i can tell you are not...
I told him that more then depressed about it Im pretty damn pissed off about the whole thing...not because I feel sorry for myself but because I hate the gaping holes in this country's health care system....I told him that I am probably the biggest supporter of donor education he will meet and he loved it! We spke a lot about the problems this country is facing in that department!
He asked me when this road is finished and I am healthy again he wants concert tickets to my next big show here on Maui! LOL DONE! And we also spoke about my son in laws restaurant and he had heard of it and so I gave him a few free appetizer cards for him and his staff and I know he will be going there!
Then today came.....a simple diagnostic mammo...(the one two months ago showed something but they werent concerned ust said Id need a follow up soon)......long story short I have an ultra sound tomorrow morning at 7 am to tell me whatever the radiologist found...never fun when the radioogist walks in the room to tell you "Now I dont want you to worry BUT....'
So of course Im worried, wont sleep tonight.....but Im sure it'll be fine....the universe could not possibl=y be THAT cruel cause if it is indeed cancer, bye bye transplant opportunity....
Life in Tammy's shoes.....brought to you by SNL's Debbie Downer! heehee
Thanks for reading!
He went on to say I have no mental disorders whatsoever and that I am extremely educated in this process and understand perfectly well the situation I am in....now this is NOT saying Im OK with my situation and he said anyone who says they are would be lying and i can tell you are not...
I told him that more then depressed about it Im pretty damn pissed off about the whole thing...not because I feel sorry for myself but because I hate the gaping holes in this country's health care system....I told him that I am probably the biggest supporter of donor education he will meet and he loved it! We spke a lot about the problems this country is facing in that department!
He asked me when this road is finished and I am healthy again he wants concert tickets to my next big show here on Maui! LOL DONE! And we also spoke about my son in laws restaurant and he had heard of it and so I gave him a few free appetizer cards for him and his staff and I know he will be going there!
Then today came.....a simple diagnostic mammo...(the one two months ago showed something but they werent concerned ust said Id need a follow up soon)......long story short I have an ultra sound tomorrow morning at 7 am to tell me whatever the radiologist found...never fun when the radioogist walks in the room to tell you "Now I dont want you to worry BUT....'
So of course Im worried, wont sleep tonight.....but Im sure it'll be fine....the universe could not possibl=y be THAT cruel cause if it is indeed cancer, bye bye transplant opportunity....
Life in Tammy's shoes.....brought to you by SNL's Debbie Downer! heehee
Thanks for reading!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Anything but ordinary
If I had one wish it would be that when I die I will be remembered for being "anything but ordinary"......I don't feel ordinary.....I don't feel special in any way but ordinary, no way.........
Yesterday I went to the beach in the morning and spent about 2 hours enjoying the sun and the ocean and the peace and solitude of Maui...it really is a calming, safe and serene place to live......people are so laid back and nice here.....the beach is the one place I really dont mind doing alone.....in fact I like going alone......i prefer going alone......yesterday was an especially nice day...no winds, calm ocean perfect to swim and paddle board (of course the surfers here aren't happy when its like this but I love it!)
So yesterday I sat on the beach all the while knowing that I had to leave at some point and go to the lab..... I have to go for labs every few weeks now.....usually about 12 viles....5 techs.....6 different sticks....why? Who knows why it is so hard to draw blood from me the last several months, but it is certainly no fun. I used to be able to go in for a quick stick and it was finished....now it is a traumatic experience every single time.
I usually distract myself by texting on the phone. Yesterday one of the techs said 'Please put your phone away" and I said ABSOLUTELY NOT......this helps me get through the torture of this experience. She got it....she nodded....and again she apologized for putting me thru this yet again.....it is certainly not her fault...or the 4 other techs that wander in to "help"
This time they tried to get me to leave after drawing only 3 viles saying maybe I should come back tomorrow for the rest...I said ABSOLUTELY NOT....Im not leaving until we are finished here cause I am NOT spending my tomorrow doing this yet again.....the girls are always so nice to me.....I can see they feel badly every time. And I also see the victory in their eyes when they actually find a vein that works! LOL
I wonder what it must be like to be a lab tech? I wonder how it feels to see sick people all the time. My friend Lisamarie was recently diagnosed with cancer and she is a mere 23 yrs old.....when I think of people who are suffering so much more then i am it makes me feel guilty for complaining. When I hear about young children suffering from cancer I feel so aweful for them and their families....I do what I can to help support them....I try to arrange a good band for their fundraisers, or donate money to their funds.....I try to spread the word to help them raise more funds because I NOW the expenses involved for a person who is sick. The last thing a sick person or their family needs to worry about is money during such a horrific time....
But its not enough....I still feel sorry for myself....I hate admitting that. I hate that so many years of my life were wasted on being sick....I hate the 5 months have elapsed since I heard the dr say those horrible words and I am STILL not on the list yet....but I am hopeful it will be soon.....I finally have more appts lined up over the next two weeks here on Maui ...all part of the eval process.....so things are actually moving along....not at light speed, more like an injured snail fighting his way across the dessert speed but still moving forward.....
Ok enough ramblings from me for today....its a Saturday and Im sure Austin has a LOT more drama in store for me on 6th St (a typlical weekend in my life is at least 3 cancellations, a late band, equipment breaking...you know....the morn...at least 12 texts ranging from GREAT night! to Im gonna shoot myself in the head if I have to hear one more second of this crap! LOLOL.....why did I decide to be in the music business again? Someone quick remind me........ahhh nevermind....Im gonna head to the ocean and read a good book....
Yesterday I went to the beach in the morning and spent about 2 hours enjoying the sun and the ocean and the peace and solitude of Maui...it really is a calming, safe and serene place to live......people are so laid back and nice here.....the beach is the one place I really dont mind doing alone.....in fact I like going alone......i prefer going alone......yesterday was an especially nice day...no winds, calm ocean perfect to swim and paddle board (of course the surfers here aren't happy when its like this but I love it!)
So yesterday I sat on the beach all the while knowing that I had to leave at some point and go to the lab..... I have to go for labs every few weeks now.....usually about 12 viles....5 techs.....6 different sticks....why? Who knows why it is so hard to draw blood from me the last several months, but it is certainly no fun. I used to be able to go in for a quick stick and it was finished....now it is a traumatic experience every single time.
I usually distract myself by texting on the phone. Yesterday one of the techs said 'Please put your phone away" and I said ABSOLUTELY NOT......this helps me get through the torture of this experience. She got it....she nodded....and again she apologized for putting me thru this yet again.....it is certainly not her fault...or the 4 other techs that wander in to "help"
This time they tried to get me to leave after drawing only 3 viles saying maybe I should come back tomorrow for the rest...I said ABSOLUTELY NOT....Im not leaving until we are finished here cause I am NOT spending my tomorrow doing this yet again.....the girls are always so nice to me.....I can see they feel badly every time. And I also see the victory in their eyes when they actually find a vein that works! LOL
I wonder what it must be like to be a lab tech? I wonder how it feels to see sick people all the time. My friend Lisamarie was recently diagnosed with cancer and she is a mere 23 yrs old.....when I think of people who are suffering so much more then i am it makes me feel guilty for complaining. When I hear about young children suffering from cancer I feel so aweful for them and their families....I do what I can to help support them....I try to arrange a good band for their fundraisers, or donate money to their funds.....I try to spread the word to help them raise more funds because I NOW the expenses involved for a person who is sick. The last thing a sick person or their family needs to worry about is money during such a horrific time....
But its not enough....I still feel sorry for myself....I hate admitting that. I hate that so many years of my life were wasted on being sick....I hate the 5 months have elapsed since I heard the dr say those horrible words and I am STILL not on the list yet....but I am hopeful it will be soon.....I finally have more appts lined up over the next two weeks here on Maui ...all part of the eval process.....so things are actually moving along....not at light speed, more like an injured snail fighting his way across the dessert speed but still moving forward.....
Ok enough ramblings from me for today....its a Saturday and Im sure Austin has a LOT more drama in store for me on 6th St (a typlical weekend in my life is at least 3 cancellations, a late band, equipment breaking...you know....the morn...at least 12 texts ranging from GREAT night! to Im gonna shoot myself in the head if I have to hear one more second of this crap! LOLOL.....why did I decide to be in the music business again? Someone quick remind me........ahhh nevermind....Im gonna head to the ocean and read a good book....
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
The near ENDLESS wait for a simple answer! Am I worthy of at LEAST an evaluation???
So I got to Maui in April 2011 and am STILL waiting in August 2011 for the insurance company to deem me "worthy" of transplant evaluation!! 4 months! Just for the EVALUATION! What's up with THAT? NOT for the actual TRANSPLANT! Nope Im still waiting to be approved for the EVAL!
First, Dr Wells (who is the doctor in charge of Circa Transplant here in Hawaii....decides he needs 3 months of negative results for Alcohol, drugs, nicotine, HIV, Cancer.....) I get it.....this makes sense to me.....Done! April, May and June....done....even sent over July! Do you want August too? Id be happy to oblige!
Next, he decides wants ALL my records from Baylor X Center in Dallas.....done! (he already had them but ok....lets see if there are MORE) DONE!
.....last week he asked for records from 15 years ago at Medical Mt Sinai in Manhattan!! Yes I said 15 yrs ago!!
Why is that relevent? Im confused? Isn't it WAY more important to see ALL my records from the past 2-3 yrs? Even 5 yrs....ok lets even go back 10 yrs! But 15 yrs??? Seems to me the dreaded Dr. Wells is looking for anything he can to decide on a big NO......why?? Does the insurance company pay him to deny people? Ive seen movies on this very subject....or am I getting paranoid here??
Why am I not worthy of a Transplant "opportunity" here in the USA? How many OTHER people are going through the same red tape processes that I have gone through for the past year? I was denied in Texas 14, count 'em, FOURTEEN TIMES!!
This country is in serious need for change of policies.....if not to benefit ME to benefit the 1000's of OTHER people waiting for health care....for necessary transplants to save their lives. 1000's die EVERY day waiting....not knowing what to do or who to go to or how to make changes.....
ARGH.....don't take your organs to heaven, heaven knows we need them HERE! Be a donor, give the gift of life!
First, Dr Wells (who is the doctor in charge of Circa Transplant here in Hawaii....decides he needs 3 months of negative results for Alcohol, drugs, nicotine, HIV, Cancer.....) I get it.....this makes sense to me.....Done! April, May and June....done....even sent over July! Do you want August too? Id be happy to oblige!
Next, he decides wants ALL my records from Baylor X Center in Dallas.....done! (he already had them but ok....lets see if there are MORE) DONE!
.....last week he asked for records from 15 years ago at Medical Mt Sinai in Manhattan!! Yes I said 15 yrs ago!!
Why is that relevent? Im confused? Isn't it WAY more important to see ALL my records from the past 2-3 yrs? Even 5 yrs....ok lets even go back 10 yrs! But 15 yrs??? Seems to me the dreaded Dr. Wells is looking for anything he can to decide on a big NO......why?? Does the insurance company pay him to deny people? Ive seen movies on this very subject....or am I getting paranoid here??
Why am I not worthy of a Transplant "opportunity" here in the USA? How many OTHER people are going through the same red tape processes that I have gone through for the past year? I was denied in Texas 14, count 'em, FOURTEEN TIMES!!
This country is in serious need for change of policies.....if not to benefit ME to benefit the 1000's of OTHER people waiting for health care....for necessary transplants to save their lives. 1000's die EVERY day waiting....not knowing what to do or who to go to or how to make changes.....
ARGH.....don't take your organs to heaven, heaven knows we need them HERE! Be a donor, give the gift of life!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
How you can possibly make more money and have a better experience at your shows on 6th St
Please:
1. Go to the club about a week prior to your gig and hang some posters, While you're there you might as well introduce yourself to the staff and confirm load in times and PA situation.
2.Make sure you know whether or not you need to bring your PA.
3.Make sure I have all of your contact phone information in case of any last minute details.
4.Post bulletins advertising your show on myspace, facebook, websites, and all free online sites available to you (ex: Chronicle, gignaustin.com, do512, ect....)....send texts to your friends...post something funny in your bulletin like"say the word Fartington at my show and I will give you a free sticker!" or "bring in a cowbell and I'll buy you a shot!"
5. Go to Chronicles online site and submit your show free of charge.
6. Post the event on www.Eventful.com
7. Call KLBJ and ask them to put your show on the daily shout out advertising your show at 7:20 pm every day..
8. Bring a tip jar in case the venue doesn't have one. And bring someone to walk it around for you. Preferably a pretty girl! If you can't find anyone ask the cocktail waitress and tip her for doing it for you!
9 Show up early enough to be set up , onstage and hitting that first note at your contracted start time.
10.Gather your merchandise to sell at your show. Koozies, t-shirts, cd's...display them nicely (say in a lit up guitar case)
11. Factor in the sometimes complicated parking situation downtown when deciding on the time you need to arrive.
12. Announce the name of your band often , especially if you have no sign or banner hanging up behind you (which you should have)
13. Bring a mailing list clipboard so you can take down email addresses to let your fans know where and when you'll be playing next.
14. Talk to the audience between songs often! Smile! Laugh! Thank them for being there! Thank the staff!
15. Pay your commission DAY AFTER GIG ON PAYPAL if you want to be rebooked. I'm not a volunteer. I work hard too.
16. Have a good time! It shows and makes a HUGE difference in your performance!
17. Thank the staff nd mention the barstaff by name on the mic.
18. If you sweat perfusely bring a change of shirt!
19. Dont wear flipflops!
20. Shorts are for the beach not the stage
21. Keep your equipment in good repair and bring extra strings since you KNOW one can break!
22. If load in time is 7 and onstage time is 9 / load in at 7 and be onstage at 9.
23. use deodorant
24. dress the part (the visual is as important as the sound)
25. be UPBEAT! remember the audience is out to have a good time and drink and dance...they could care less about being at your "concert" if you get my drift.
26. AND DO NOT DRINK ON THE JOB...IF YOU WORED AT WALMART YOU COULDNT GET DRUNK.....BE A PROFESSIONAL!
26. AND DO NOT DRINK ON THE JOB...IF YOU WORED AT WALMART YOU COULDNT GET DRUNK.....BE A PROFESSIONAL!
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