I write this because I believe it is an important lesson to teach others....an issue that most people probably never give a second thought to.

Did you ever think about who gets a handicapped permit? The first thing that most likely comes to your mind is someone in a wheelchair right?....common assumption. Thats what I used to think too...or very old people....people with crutches or walkers....not people who LOOK perfectly healthy....

Its the "but you don't LOOK sick " misconception....allow me to explain.

Tonight I went to Lianna's elementary school for her Big HUGE Halloween Fair....it was PACKED and the cars were lined up for what looked to me like miles and miles and miles down the road. My first thought was to turn round, go back home, lay back down on my couch and shoot Shannon a text to say "maybe next year....."

But then I remembered, Lianna will only be 5 once and I don't want to miss these things. I am smart enough to know that I might not live to see her be six. I WANTED to see her and her friends and buy them some shave ice and cake walk....and take LOTS of pictures! So I did it...the thing I almost NEVER do.

I was given a handicapped permit when my doctor suggested there could be times that I might need to use it.....tonight was one of those nights. I rarely if EVER use this permit. So rarely that I didn't remember I even had it at first. 

As I get sicker and closer to transplant there are many times I am completely exhausted. More times then not I am too tired to go out....to stay awake late...to do most things that other people take for granted, things I miss more then anything.

I parked my car, put the permit on the windshield and as I was getting out of the car I was greeted with a very angry look by someone who must work at the school. She gave me a look like "how dare you park in that spot when you so obviously don't need to??". I WANTED to shout at her something like "are YOU waiting for a transplant? Are YOU too sick to walk a mile to come see YOUR grandaughter at her Halloween fair??"

But I didnt. Because I understood. I dont LOOK sick....and you know what? That is one thing I thank God for every day.....its bad enough that I AM sick, but if I looked sick it would be worse. I decided it was a better plan to come home and write about it...if ONE person is educated I will be happy.

Please always think long and hard before you make  a complete stranger feel bad by your condescending looks. You don't know what that person might be dealing with. Not all sick people are in wheelchairs or using walkers or crutches....some of us are just in end stage liver disease and even walking to the garage to get in our car sometimes wipe us out.

(ps there were four other spots still left unused even when I left so I did not take away anyone else's spot who others might think need it more than me. If I didn't NEED it tonight, i would never have used it. I know my daughters, my mom can vouch for this. They have seen me refuse to use it many many times)

Thank you for taking the time to read this