Well the day finally came......the waiting was not easy.....allow me to backtrack....
Since last I wrote a LOT has happened!
After being listed in Hawaii and waiting what seemed like forever (3 years) getting sicker and sicker I finally moved back to the mainland to live with Miranda and Jeff, as it was clear that I was no longer able to live on my own. This was April 2014.
The kids built a little "apartment" for me in their home.....a living room, bedroom and a bathroom......I shared their kitchen......and my (at the time) future son in law is a chef so I certainly got to eat well!!
Im not quite sure how they put up with me as my mind was increasingly becoming foggy with encephalopathy. My ammonia level kept rising and my judgement and thoughts were very muffled. I was in and out of the hospital and began having increased hallucinations. Separating reality from fiction became very difficult. Running my company became impossible. Miranda took over that as well as my care.
I went to the Austin doctor who told me I had only months to live (3 years prior) and when he saw me he was quite surprised that I was alive.....suffice to say I asked him never again to give such bad news when clearly he could be mistaken.....he said my illness was very hard to gauge and sometimes can last a lot longer than expected......I told him he really ruined the last 3 years of my life causing intense worry and fear and major depression that I am still battling with. Its not easy to hear those words.....every day you worry it is your last.....you push people away....you become a recluse.....a hermit.....you only want to be alone. To this day I struggle with this.
Miranda took me to San Antonio for my transplant evaluation in September 2014 and upon seeing the coordinator asked the question "Is it true that Im too small to be her donor?" and the coordinator replied "not at all! Its not your body size that matters its your liver mass that matters" And my 25 year old daughter stood up and said "please test me right away!"
And they did....immediately......first they called my insurance company to get clearance.....5 minutes later she was in the lab getting 23 files of blood drawn......I was in shock.....mainly crying.....secretly hoping she was not a match but begging God that she would be. I know that sounds crazy. My mind was crazy. Thoughts were hard to keep in order.
I had other potential donors. My son offered, my sister offered.....both had same blood type....but for many years I said no....I didn't want to risk anyone else's life for me.....but at this time I had gotten so sick that I wasn't able to really consider the consequences of my decision to say yes to any of them. So I said yes to them all.
All three were matches. All three.
Miranda was the perfect match. Miranda said to me that she wanted to be the one since it seemed fitting to her that she had seen me through all the bad stuff throughout the years that she wanted to be the one to end all the misery and save my life.
They did a zillion tests to be sure she was healthy enough to undergo such a major surgery where they would section away 60% of her liver and remove the right lobe to donate to me. My baby girl had never been sick a day in her life....no surgeries....nothing really to speak of. They asked her if she ever at least got heartburn....when she said yes the transplant surgeon said "Well thank God! You're the healthiest potential donor we have seen!"
And the rest is quite a blur......weeks went by while they determined if I could have the surgery and if she could have the surgery. They day we got the green light is a day I vividly recall.....mixed with every emotion possible, I realized there could be a light at the end of the long tunnel I had lived in for so many years I couldn't even remember before it all started.
Our surgery was scheduled for a few weeks later.....Oct 14, 2014.
As the time creeped closer and closer Miranda was terrified but adamant to go through with this to save my life. How does a person even process this is their mind when they are clear headed let alone with ammonia filled fog? The living liver donor surgery is one of the biggest most complicated surges there is.....Miranda was told her liver would grow back to approximately 80-90% of the size it was. Those were the statistics.
And we were told in the past year they had performed 55 living transplants. We THOUGHT they meant living liver but they meant mainly kidney and when we arrived at the hospital to tour the transplant acute care units the day before our surgery the charge nurse came over to us and said with all the glee in her eyes! We are SO excited to meet you! You are our number 4 living liver donor!!
We looked at each other and said NUMBER 4?? What happened to 55? She said oh that number includes all the kidney transplants this year. So we asked "You're telling me in this past year this center has only done 3 living liver transplants????'
The fear in Miranda's eyes I will never forget. I was too sick to really comprehend it all but still I remember seeing how scared she was. Crazy that I was thinking that it was silly that she was scared.
To this day I feel such incredible guilt that I allowed my child to undergo such a major surgery for me. I firmly believe God made me completely unaware so I would finally say yes and have my life saving transplant.
They admitted me that night and Miranda went with Jeff to the hotel to come back at 5 am the next morning.
I don't believe I slept at all. Kelly stayed with me.
In the morning they wheeled me to the OR prep area already pretty drugged. They wheeled my daughter to me and I don't think Ive ever been more excited! Miranda acted excited too but later on I learned that she had been crying terrified of what was happening. She asked Jeff not to take her to me until she had control of her emotions so I wouldn't see her so scared and crying.
Can I say that again? My 25 year old daughter was about to undergo this terrifying surgery but her main concern was that I not see that she was scared. How did I ever get so lucky to have this person in my life? Miranda is one of a kind. A selfless angel that cared more about me that morning than herself.
I don't remember anything after that until I woke up a few days later. I do know the first thing I said was Wheres Miranda? Hows Miranda?
My family tell me they kept reassuring me that Miranda was fine but I didn't believe them until they wheeled her in to see me. She was alive and in a lot of pain but smiled at me anyway. I remember being in terrible pain and wishing I didn't still feel sick but in my case I still felt sick.
My road to recovery was long and hard. I suffered so many complications, procedures and more surgeries before I finally got well. Miranda had one complication. An infection that they cleared up pretty quickly. She had to have a drain put in and removing that was pretty painful for her.
Today Miranda is completely healed with a straight line scar on her abdomen. She is also a married woman as of a month ago and I got to be at her wedding! Healthy! They call her SUPER DONOR since her liver grew back to 120% of its original size and she is now an advocate for the transplant center speaking to potential donors telling the the good the bad and the ugly! They even put her name on the wall on the 9th floor family waiting area....a leaf tribute on an artists tree of life. They held a ceremony that we went to honoring Miranda and several other donors. It was one of the proudest days of my life.
I have God, Miranda and the team at University Health Science Center Transplant Department in San Antonio and my family to thank for my recovery. My sisters and Mom stayed with me at the hospital or nearby at a hotel. When they finally let me go home, my sister Dawn allowed me to stay at her house where she took very good care of me. My dad flew in to help with my recovery. After six weeks at Dawns I was able to go back home to Miranda's house right after Thanksgiving!
I have Jeffrey to thank for taking amazing care of his finace' while she recovered after surgery. That man took off work for WEEKS to stay at home with her. I believe he is just as proud of Miranda as I am. She's a hero. My hero.
The holidays were memorable......the entire family was there for Thanksgiving and it held more meaning for me than any other.
In March of 2015 I moved out of Miranda's to my own apartment! In June of 2015 Miranda's wedding took place! My daughter Shannon and two grandchildren Lianna and Jax flew in and stayed with me for two weeks!
Now I get to anticipate Miranda and Jeffs first child! I hope every day that I get the call saying "Mom Im pregnant!!!" is it real? Am I really healthy? Am I going to be here to see Miranda have her babies?
Today is July 9, 2015 and I feel healthy!
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