It all began.....15 yrs ago almost to the day.....

I remember it like it was yesterday......I had just turned 35.....I was living in New York (Long Island to be more specific) I was  married, had 3 children, was happy, just beginning my journey back to college to be a photo journalist.....or what is more fun even to describe as  the "paparazzi" since I always loved the arts and music and film.........lol.....I remember standing at my backyard bbq birthday party thinking "can this REALLY be happening to me?? NOW??"

There had been a small car accident and I was taken to the ER.....they ran routine labs.....my liver enzymes were all elevated......they said it needed to be rechecked in a few months.....

Long story short, my gall bladder had to be removed and the levels had gone up, antibodies were run and those were positive too...... and they said I needed to have a biopsy......a liver biopsy.....I said no, and he said I had three children and at this point I would be neglegent if I disregarded this any longer  so of course I scheduled it.....even though I didnt FEEL sick, or LOOK sick.....he was saying I WAS sick.....

So being the control freak that I am,  we scheduled a family trip to Las Vegas and the day after we arrived home I had my scheduled biopsy.....no fun for sure.....that needle was LONG and scary looking......they take a several pieces of my liver while I was  awake...snip.....snip....(I learned this day that versad doesnt work on me! Apparently I need provacal too.....)

The results came back but the specialist was on vacation in Europe.....his assistant wouldn't give me the results....the covering doctors wouldn't give me the results. All saying I needed to wait for him to come back and talk to me. Let me tell you that alone will scare the living crap out of a person! I knew it wasn't  going to be good news.

So he came back and my husband, my best friend Joyce and I  went to the appointment where he sat us down and very matter of factly explained that I had a very rare disorder called Autoimmune Hepatitis with over lap Primary Billiary Cirrhosis and although it was in its early stages his opinion was to "treat or not treat....the progmosis was 5 to 10 yrs to transpalnt or death.....but the treatment can be far worse than the disease progression...."

The rest is a complete blur......with me fading in and out hearing things like Joyce blurting out "OF COURSE WE TREAT! AND WE ANT ANOTHER BIOPSY!!"

He explained things like losing hair, phycosis from the steroids, immunosuppresant drug therapy.....he explained how rare this diorder was and how it wasn't contagious or hereditary yet it was "genetic".....and then he said since the decision was being made to begin treatment that his advice was to stop going to school because I wouldn't be able to focus...the drugs would make it too hard on me.....then he gave me an email address to join an online support group....

I couldnt take any more in....I couldnt deal with this at all....my mind went into complete denial.....and the first pill I swallowed kicked my butt BIG time!