Hospital Stays Tammy Style

First allow me to say I am an expert of "Hospital Stays 1-0-1"
I believe my family would back me up on my count of approximately 30-40 hospital stays over the last 15 yrs.....probably more.....I stopped counting a long time ago.....

My stories of in hosptial care should be co- written by Miranda and Marissa....as they have both been to almost every one of them.....they tell it best.....starting with the stories of falling asleep midst card games......waxing off eyebrows the day I gt discharged....dyng my hair crazy colors before drugs wear offf.....the stories are endless and we can laugh at them all now......you HAVE to laugh!

Given the condition of my liver and the stent that lives in it, lets just say that heavy drugs are not a really wise choice for me....yet I get to the ER...usually quite upset...usually having nausea, abdominal pain and lately much confusion with high ammonia levels (encepholopathy) so the drugs begin....

First its always the shot of morphine along with phenergan( or zophran) and then adderal  to callm me down....on to the dilauded and ambien.......the rest is quite a blur.....a dribbling, drooling, not so pretty blur...

So guess where I was found in the middle of the night THIS TIME the VERY first night???

Seems I either fell or just decided to go to sleep on the floor! (my vote is for just going to sleep since I had no injurys from any type of "fall")

The charge nurse looked for me at about 1 am and when I wasn't in my bed she assumed I was in the restroom...an hour later she came back and checked the restroom (which was empty) and then spotted my feet sticking out from the far side of the bed. I woke up to five people yelling "Tammy! Dont move! Are you OK? Did you fall???"

The rest again is a big blur.

When I finally became coherant again I discovered I had a person assigned to my bedside 24 hrs a day! Yep! If I got up, she got up...if I went the the restroom she went to the restroom! LOL

My daughters both took care of explaining the the staff and  doctor that someone in my condition cannot and should not be given heavy narcotics as it is not processed through my scarred liver and goes right to my head along with the high levels of ammonia. ONly making matters worse.....

So once again , I remember very little about my hosptial stay this time......except to be shown funny pictures my daughter took and reading some of the embarrassing texts i sent out in my drug crazed frame of mind.

So note to self and all surrounding my bizarre existence......NO NARCOTICS POR FAVOR......

That's 4 days Ill never get back!